I’m feeding Lucy in the chair when suddenly the edict zings through my thoughts: “GET ME OUT NOW.”

Had someone been wedged between some furniture this would’ve leapt me into action, but instead it was just my toddler. Or should I say my drill sargeant, pulling on the safty strap across her lap in her booster chair.

“MA, I WANT OUT NOW. GET ME OUT.”

“Abby, that’s how how we ask nicely.”

“PEAS.”

“No, how do you ask the whole thing nicely?”

“MA I WANT OUT PEAS.”

“Nicer.”

“Ma? Can you get me OUT NOW PEAS.” Still not a question, but it at least had “can” and “please” and I bought it because I’d already had this conversation about 56 million times since she woke up this morning.

Manners are hard, yo.

I’m really rocking the whole colors and numbers work – she can also recognize the letter A and M and W, so that’s a start; only 23 more, right?

But manners? I struggle. When it’s 7 and dinner’s almost ready but not quite and my drill sargeant’s screaming “I WANT SNACK,” sometimes it’s easier to throw her a piece of buttered bread than to stop everything around me – water boiling on the stove, baby perched on my hip, husband flying around looking for croutons, tripping over toys on the kitchen floor – to demand even a “please,” let alone a “could you ..?”

Still, I try most times: “Ask it nicer, Abby.” “How do you say that nicely?” “That was nice of your friend to share – what do you tell her?” Nicely, nice, nicer – we’re  so nice here it hurts.

Teaching manners to a 2 year old is like training a snapping turtle. (I’m guessing that’s pretty impossible.) I sigh a lot. Sigh.

But then – just when she was shrieking at me to “sit HERE, not THERE, Mama, NO, sit HERE” while we were getting the Play-Doh out, my constant nagging for a “please” caught on with her.

“Abby, stop. Hold up. You don’t get to boss Mama around,” I said. “Come here. Sit down.”

“Mama? No, Mama. You say peas.”

Did you hear that! She’s got it! That’s another I can cross off my list. Mission accomplished – now on to teaching her what? Morals? Ethics? Insider trading? We’re so on top of this.